“You forgive yourself for every failure because you are trying to do the right thing. God knows that and you know it. Nobody else may know it.” —Maya Angelou
Why does it seem we are the last person we forgive?
At times, even as we have no cause to be guilty when it is merely our reflecting, we still attack ourselves for no good reason. We need forgiveness of self.
We obsess, suspecting everyone is against us, as we walk closer to the edge of the cliff of Self-Pity. It doesn’t matter what we do or don’t do; we take ourselves to heart unjustifiably because that comes naturally. There are those too, who take offense with what we say, and they are hurt.
We may hear a specific inflection in someone’s voice and we ask ourselves, “Oops, what did I do to cause this?” Fear clouds our thinking in an instant and we imagine if only we, “Did something different,” or “Said something different,” fear would vanish. Oftentimes, fear can surface by not having said anything at all. We don’t need to be sensitive to every thought, gesture, or imagining. We really don’t. None of this is about us. It is about the other person.
So we look at it for what it is: thinking run riot. The fear we are not good enough, fear we’ve fallen short in some way, disappointing others. The truth is, we are the one who needs our forgiveness. We are the ones we have disappointed, many times, through no fault of our own.
Forgiveness is a virtue we practice to detach from our insecure, often neurotic perceptions. We get caught in thoughts of triviality and become blinded by what is real. We make assumptions based on mistaken beliefs that were never our truth, to begin with, and continue to feed them the attention they don’t deserve.
Are we responsible for what others think, do or say?
But how do we let go of the whirring and stirring in our head that says surely we must have something to do with someone else’s disappointment of us?
If you like this article, click on this link, “Ten Things You Can do To Forgive Yourself to Freedom, and begin feeling better this minute: