ARE YOU EXISTING OR ARE YOU LIVING YOUR LIFE?

“Life is never boring, but some people choose to be bored.” Dr. Wayne Dyer


There are plenty of days when I feel like I’m just existing. So much so, that it wasn’t until the death of my husband and daughter that I realized the Universe put me in a position to really imagine a life with just me in it.

Think about it for a moment: It is amazing how “this” works. We don’t even begin to think about a situation overall until we are faced with it, right?

Never have I had to imagine something as removed as this. My life’s internal clock keeps ticking, going somewhere, while it seems I’m standing still. Without a purpose, a plan, or an end-goal in sight, I can’t help but wonder what the difference is between existing and knowing that I am really living each day?

For instance, there are days when I get up out of bed and wonder why did I do that?

Were it not for my dogs who remind me to let them out and feed them, I might still be there!

What is it, if not your animals, that make a day different for you? Where are you headed when you get out of bed? And what is important, about this specific, unique one-of-a-kind day that sets us apart from existing or from living with intention?

When I think of what existing means:

  • I feel as if I’m having an out-of-body experience. I see myself walking through the motions of existing through the day as if expressionless, emotionless and unobservant. Bored, definitely indifferent and disillusioned, but not necessarily lonely.
  • Maybe it’s a COVID-CLAUSTRAFOPHIC SYNDROME? (a CCS) lol.
  • There are no rituals to perform or goals to achieve that ground me, or give me purpose. I move from one thing to another aimlessly, not sure at that point why.
  • . Sometimes it is as if I were half-dead, having to wonder how I got from one room to another. (wasn’t I just sitting down?)
  • I find more excitement trying to catch a fish with no bait!
  • I waste a lot of time on social media and watching TV as I comparing my life to others
  • I allow my fears to keep me trapped (Yes, Yes! ~ It must be COVID-CCS thing, and the world’s turmoil – Too much ABC, NBC, CBS and WHOCARESWHAT!)
  • I AGREE, that in this state of nothingness, I get myself twisted as I think, even worrying, about things out of my control. I forget that what I also have, is a thinking problem.
  • I feel easily confused, distracted and tired. At times, I even feel depressed. Maybe if I experience these effects, I am depressed. Environmental Depression? Not seasonal, but a COVID-isolated-type Depression?

 

Living life implies forward motion:

On days filled with purpose, we wake to see and to feel the excitement in our step and in our thoughts, happy to have something to do, happy to get our day moving and to be an ardent contributor.

We feel a subtle rush of excitement at the thought of making money, or being with someone we like, or helping others where we can. We find satisfaction in being a part of our circle of friends, regardless of the community or religion they belong.

GETTING UP AND GETTING OUT: When we purposefully get up and out of our house, we feel that vague shutter inside as if our adrenalin kicked up a notch. At the same time, we may experience a tinge of gratitude for being a part of the busy world of events and people. We know there is work to do, people who really do depend on us, and reasons why we’re still anchored here, living life!

Ahhh, yes – living life! Having a purpose, something to do in a self-imposed deadline!

We begin to feel alive as we move physically closer to where we want to go and do. One example of living and existing I see now, is that existing would mean my dirty dishes can sit on my counter for a week and no one cares, least of all me. But if I’m living, I ACT AS IF My PRINCE will be knocking at my door any moment now so I’d best be ready (therein lies the goal, the excitement of something to do even though we both know that prince is a fairy rale.) and prepared to go some-where.

GOALS, INTENTIONS AND OBJECTIVES: These thoughts cause excitement to rise to our consciousness as we move closer to them. Some of us have just finished a certain puzzle, painting, or the last page of an article we’re writing. Maybe we are cutting our grass and coming around the bend for the last time.

 

WE STOP ESCAPING AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY WHERE WE FIND IT: Think about all of the varied and hundreds of things we do and achieve each day that we don’t even account for. Satisfaction surfaces, and that sense of personal accomplishment brings us joy. Most often this satisfaction is subliminal. If we keep a list of all of the activities we perform on any given day we might be amazed, even encouraged, that maybe we are living after all.

On days when I can’t see beyond my nose, all of these seemingly inconsequential daily activities for me become clear. It is called living life. I feel that joy, the inner-satisfaction of having accomplished some thing (even if it was just washing those dishes.)

This awareness of taking responsibility, because we know it is linked to the act of moving forward, becomes our reward.

One thing all of these thoughts
have in common

is a determined rising above our own isolation.

We rise above that sitting-still place where to just think about “doing,” becomes a chore.

We rise above the stiffness we experience in our joints, our thinking and our emotions.

We must rise above the nagging experience of staleness that points to an overriding sense of dread. These inactions are but a few thoughts that confirm to us we are just existing.

How do We Know We’re Not Just Existing?

  1. As we exert ourselves in forward motion, we find self-satisfaction, inner-direction and grounding.

2.    We feel stable, and seek balance and determination in our rituals. We get up, attend to our             physical morning rituals, and move forward toward another responsibility from there.

3    Some of us make focused and dedicated time for our emotional and spiritual rituals that serve        to anchor us just for today.

  • Many of us use their ritual of evaluating tasks and other responsibilities for the day and then take measures to carry them out.
  • We give ourselves quiet, private time and reorder our list for the day.
  • We may have to ask ourselves, “How Important Is It?” and reschedule tasks for another time.
  • Structuring our allotted time for all things is key to our serenity. Evaluating boundaries allows us to see what little awake time we have each day to accomplish what needs to be done.
  • We Don’t Take Ourselves So Seriously: The second you begin to lighten-up and take yourself less seriously, is the second you walk out of fear. Today is just a ride in time, and at the end of the day nothing will matter other than what you gave to it and how much of that same goodness you gave to others.
  • Get out of your own head.Yes, I know that to us, WE ARE the most important thing—but that’s as far as that goes! No one else cares about our rejection, our pain, our existing day in and day out. What others WANT to know is, “what did you DO about it?” What is it YOU can bring to their table and leave whatever you bring as a gift? Maybe instead of “poor me” you leave understanding, patience, and a keen understanding of the other person. Maybe the gift is your time, your own positivity that goes far in allowing others to take what you leave them.
  • Take a lunch hour.It seems logical, but so few people actually take the whole hour to relax and enjoy themselves. “What? Susie is gone, who’s going to take care of x, y, z, we’re shorthanded,” and so on. None of that is your business. It belongs to the boss. The boss is the one most important enough to give up a lunch hour so you can take yours. This is the natural order of things in the workplace. You are the hired hand, you are not that important, and, it’s not your job, unless management makes it your job. So, until then – decompress and take care of you so you can return again rejuvenated and eager to please!
  • We commit as much as possible, to do something for someone else, regardless of how small. Not only is this service work but it serves to connect us to our world and to other people. Doing this allows for us to see the role we play as individuals and the necessity of our contribution, if only just for our own satisfaction.
  • By operating as if today is the only time we have to create, to perform and to help others, we’ve become assured we are living a purposeful existence one moment, one hour, one day at a time.

When we are unable to do any of these things, our cup appears either empty, or almost empty. We sink into that defeating place where thoughts assure us,” indeed, we have nothing to contribute.” Expectations, or lack of expectations from ourselves, quickly consume us and shades of stinking-thinking become dark as they create a bleak, lonely, and helpless place to be.

If we are an addict, alcoholic our existence stuck in this morass of uselessness can become once again, the pitiful, incomprehensible demoralized place we all know so very well.

We have become the problem.

We have moved ourselves, without even knowing it happened, closer to the problem we relied upon for a lifetime, yet never brought us more than short-term relief.

Maybe this trap is the ultimate difference between existing – a living without direction, without purpose and forward motion.

If there is no purpose, then, what point is there to living?

Living each day with intention means We Must Change Our Stories.

When we live consciously and aware of our purpose, we move as if we are intentionally coming closer to something or someone else. This move puts us smack in the here and now. Not only do we make good decisions in the here and now, we TRUST them.

With powerful thoughts and energy, we position ourselves, just for the rest of today, and structure our awake time to accomplish if nothing more than three words. We are declaring without pressure, that we are enough.

For example:

  1. We exercise our spiritual-self, addressing an endless well of hope, inspiration and passion that feeds us faith as we ask for the Will of our God to be carried out. Throughout the day we pause, and ask (which is praying,) for His direction. THY WILL NOT MINE BE DONE!

How else do we exercise our spirituality?

One way, regardless of religion or belief, is to hit our knees. This single act of humility in the genuflection conveys to something mightier than us that we seek to be compliant and shows our desire to walk as one on our spiritual path. The fact that we care enough to do this, is the demonstration of moving forward in our personal quest to live our life with purpose. (Trust God)

  1. We exercise self-compassion by including something each day that feeds and nurtures our greater good. Maybe we pick up a long-neglected book and read in perfect comfort or maybe it is allowing our body to just soak in a hot tub of oils and perfumed water. Anything that we do that brings us closer to who we are (journaling, talking to a trusted friend, writing letters) and what we love, is how we exercise self-compassion (Clean House)
  2. Maybe we volunteer by spending time with a sick neighbor, maybe it’s helping someone with a tough job. We deserve to choose what this looks like for us. We become an encourager someone who brings others with us on our journey by picking up the telephone calling friends homebound, and we do this in the smallest of ways. (Help Others)

These three things in my humble opinion are the secrets of a universal self-knowledge that continues to be true for all of us. They speak to the fact that as we connect with others, with ourselves and with a spiritual source, regardless of what that may be, we are choosing positive and encouraging living just for today and in so doing, our actions follow.

We have invoked a combined-energy to do for us
what we could not, would not, do alone. This is how we know we’re living each day. The secret to doing so, is forward motion, and always when we’re helping others.

There is truth to the adage that, “no man is an island unto himself” nor are we living in a vacuum where thoughts die, as it holds hopeless walls of thought with seemingly no way out.

If you are reading this, it’s because you believe you are here for a reason too. And you are living your life, not existing.


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2 thoughts on “ARE YOU EXISTING OR ARE YOU LIVING YOUR LIFE?”

    1. THANK YOU Chuck! You, yours, and those in your community are in my prayers
      that the rains come right now! I appreciate your comment.

      Harriet

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